The Unreleased "No Time" by The Gathering plays and then Red fireworks and Yellow pyro explode ... BATTLEBOWL 2003 HAS JUST STARTED! On the CactusTron the JBM logo appears, then an "X" slowly appears in the form of graffiti. Then the image dissolves like the film was exposed to acid. Underneath the WWA logo is apparent! Then, "Bring me to Life" plays and out comes CEO Advocate(crowd booing unmercilessly)! He walks slowly to the ring; he's dressed in his Black, Pinstriped Armani suit. He steps underneath the ropes and makes his way to the middle of the ring. He pulls the mic from his pants pocket and puts it up to his mouth ...

CEO: Hiya folks ... I'M BAAACCCKKK! Its been such a long time and so much has changed! See, I went away to the Bahamas and I THOUGHT I left the WWA in capable hands, that being RaYnE, but NOOOO! It seems a jackass was lying in waiting! YES YOU SUPERSTAR! YOU PIECE OF CRAP! YOU USED THAT LOOPHOLE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE AND CONVINCED THE SHAREHOLDERS TO GIVE YOU BACK THE WWA! BUT OH ... I seem to have got the WWA back! Now I'm the one with the stroke! So, my first order of business is to RE-HIRE ... SAM YANG! SO, COME ON DOWN GOOD BUDDY! Now, I have noticed that Stevie "The King of DING-A-LINGS" Simmons is a tag champ ... along side a ... WOMAN? Who in the F*** Hired a girl? WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE WANT A GIRL WRESTLER? I remember this GIRL asking me for a job ... I thought she was asking for a B-JOB! But hey I was wrong. SO I KICKED HER ASS TO THE CURB, BUT NOW SHE'S HERE ... SO SOME SMACKEDASS MUST HAVE HIRED HER ... OH WAIT IT WAS SUPERSTAR! Well, lil' girl ... I hope the BIG BAD BOYS DON'T HURT YOUR PURTY LIL' FACE! So, since she is a tag champ ... I can't out and out fire her! SOOOO ... TO MAKE THIS MATCH MORE INTERESTING ... IF THEY, being Simmons and Sander LOSE ... CARRIE SANDER IS FIRED! AND THE MAN WHO MAKES THE PIN ... GETS A HALF A MILLION DOLLARS! Now to address the fact I was on Fusion two weeks ago. Yes, I was and yes I was dressed as the ChessMaster, but in no way am I him, Nor is RaYnE! I truthfully have no idea who this man is ... but whoever he COULD be ... Please join the TCA. Now, I know Hunter and Simmons was supposed to have a tag match with X-Rated, well thats changed ... NOW its Hunter versus X-Rated AND Kris Starr ... thats right a handicapped match! Oh I know Hunter can handle that right? The most of the remaining matches HAVE not changed. But I must explain two of them ... Scott Stone and RaYnE ... your match is a Pillar to Post match ... you know what that means? Think of a four corners match ... one guy throws the other guy into all four corners to win, right? Well, this time ... its all four corners ... or ring posts ... and when you succeed in that ... a STEEL PIPE will slowly decend into the ring. Now, this steel pipe is no ordinary pipe ... oh no. It was a stop sign post ... hence Pillar to Post. You can then use that post or pipe to beat the holy hell out of the guy. Pinfalls? NO. Submissions? NO. DQ's? NO. First Blood? NO. You beat that man till he can't fight anymore. Who makes that ruling? WHY MYSELF OF COURSE! And the Joey Rivers and Mike Hardy Psychiatric ward match. Oh, this one is fun. The object to winning is to beat the man till he bleeds, then throw his dead ass into a rubber room and lock it. When that happens you win. That one is easy. The Exocutioner and Octavo match is cancelled, due to circumstances beyond my control. So, everyone enjoy the PPV, and get ready for one hell of a night!

"The Hollow" by A Perfect Circle plays and Micheal Cole strolls down to a rauchous bout of cheers! He gets behind the announcers table and stands on it and raises his arms high, and the crowd cheers!

"Island in the stream" plays and a pissed off Sam Yang gets out from the back. He walks his way down the ramp and gives the finger to the camera. The music stops and then a new song starts to play ... "The Plague" by Slip Knot and Sam's face changes; a smile slowly develops and he gets behind the announcers table and a beer hits him in the face. He sits down and puts the headset on.

MC: Welcome back Sam.

SY: Wish you were fired instead of me.

MC: NO you don't.

SY: Oh and thanks for you guys protecting me in the back. I'm so glad you stepped up to try and keep me. I'll remember that guys.

MC: Anyway, fans of the WWA WELCOME TO BATTLEBOWL 2003!

SY: I'm glad I'm getting paid by CEO Advocate again. Though I think he is a scumbag, but a NICE scumbag.

"Maybe Memories" by The Used plays and Bradley "X-Rated" Denton and Kris Starr walk out. The crowd starts to boo, as the Denton's version of the American Dream logo appears on the CactusTron. He walks out and flips the bird to everyone. Kris Starr fakes high-fiving the fans and both get in the ring as the red, white, and blue pyro goes off.

"Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward plays and the IC champ Hunter walks out, he takes off his Black Leather trench and makes his way to the ring.

MC: All three men are in the ring, and Denton starts to mouth off to Hunter ...

BASH!

SY: I guess Denton is out.

MC: HUNTER JUST CLOTHESLINED X ... AND KICKED STARR IN THE GUT ... THE BRIG ON STARR! ROLLING NECKBREAKER ON X ... HUNTER WITH A HIGH KNEE ON X'S CHEST! STARR IS UP AND LOWBLOWS HUNTER!

SY: That will stop Rigamortis.

MC: You'll never give him his props will ya?

SY: NOPE.

MC: THUMBS DOWN ON HUNTER FOLLOWED BY STARR-SHOT! HUNTER IS KNOCKED OUT! STARR PICKS UP HUNTER ... STARR-SHOOTER! X IS ON THE TOP ROPE ... ELBOW DROP ON THE BACK OF HUNTER'S HEAD! X PICKS UP HUNTER ... IRISHWHIP ... SUPERKICK BY STARR ... REVERSE DDT ON A FALLING HUNTER BY X! PIN! 1..2..NO! HUNTER GOT HIS ARM UP ... STARR PICKS UP HUNTER ... WILL THE REF GET ONE OF THEM OUT OF THE RING!

SY: Why? This is fun. I like seeing him get his ass kicked!

MC: Anyway, Starr is holding Hunter from behind as X is punching him in the face and gut. Starr irishwhips Hunter ... and X grabs him ... X-OUT, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER STARR-SHOT! STARR WITH THE PIN ... 1...2...NO! HUNTER WITH THE KICKOUT! X is furious ... he viciously irishwhips Hunter into the corner and he collapses. Starr walks over and picks him up ... arm drag, but X GRABS HUNTER'S HEAD ... REVERSE DDT! X PINS! 1..2..NO! STARR PICKS UP HUNTER ... IRISHWHIP INTO THE ROPES ... DROP TOE HOLD ON HUNTER ... STF! HUNTER IS IN PAIN ... HE TRIES TO GRAB THE ROPES, BUT X KICKS HIS ARM AWAY! X WITH THREE LEG DROPS ON HUNTER! HUNTER GRABS THE ROPES AND STARR LETS GO, BUT X IS ALREADY ON HIM ... IRISHWHIP ... HUNTER DUCKS UNDER X'S ATTEMPTED CLOTHESLINE .. SPEAR ON STARR! HUNTER GETS UP AND STARES AT X ... X RUNS AT HIM ... BACKBODY DROP TO THE OUTSIDE ON X! STARR IS UP ... MESSHALL! HUNTER CLIMBS THE ROPES ...

SY: The Old man was a high flyer?

MC: I guess so! LEG DROP FROM THE TOP HITS ITS MARK! PIN! 1..NO! X BREAKS THE PIN! X WITH A ARMDRAG, BUT HUNTER REVERSES! HUNTER WITH A ARMBAR. STARR WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE ON HUNTER'S CRANIUM! STARR PICKS UP HUNTER ... KICK TO THE GROIN ... UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB! X WITH THE PIN! 1..2..NO! X TELLS STARR SOMETHING ... STARR GOES TO THE OUTSIDE AND GRABS A CHAIR! STARR THROWS IT IN ... X GRABS IT ... SUPERKICK BY HUNTER ON X! X IS BLEEDING AND OUT OF IT! STARR IS BACK IN ... HUNTER PICKS UP THE CHAIR, BUT STARR IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM ... BULLDOG BY STARR! HUNTERS FACE SMACKED ON THAT CHAIR! PIN! 1..2..3!

David Legend: Here are your winners ... Bradley "X-Rated" Denton and Kris Starr!

SY: Hey, cool! The old man was beatin'!

MC: Now X and Starr are beating Hunter down!

"Down with the sickness" plays; Stone, Stevie, and Sander runs out! They all get in the ring and X and Starr get out of it ... all of them are mouthing stuff to each other!

MC: Hunter did not deserve this!

SY: Yes, he did.

MC: Stone, Stevie, and Sander help Hunter up and they all stand in the ring with their hands high. Hunter asks for the mic.

Hunter: (gasping for breath) Let me introduce the newest members of the American Dream ... Carrie Sander and Stevie "King Of Swing" Simmons ... and X-Rated seeya, bitch!

Commercial promo for War at the shore